Am I Brave Enough…?

I just left the grocery store. I only had a few things today so opted for the self checkout today.

While I scanned my items, I became aware of two young men next to me. I would say they were both in their 20’s.

It dawned on me rather quickly that one was helping the other shop for groceries.

He was helping him scan each item, slow and meticulously. Talking him through he step.

The gentleman being helped was very much enjoying himself. He was laughing and making very happy noises. Much like my own son makes. And after a box of cookies were scanned I watched him flap his arms with joy.

I began smiling and tried not to be weird (as my middle son would say) but I was so proud of this young man for not only shopping semi-independently, but for simply being there. For being brave. For trying. For navigating a confusing world.

He didn’t say a word the whole time, just sounds. As his helper showed him how to scan his debit card and press the buttons I felt tears pool in the corners of my eyes.

Goals. He is goals for my son.

As I drove home I began to wonder.

Will my son ever be able to go into the community with another person and grocery shop?

I want to say yes. But I don’t know.

Questions filled my mind.

Will he ever be able to walk through a store safely? Will he ever be able to pick out his own groceries? Push a cart? Carry a debit card? Pay?

I want to say yes again. Those tasks and skills are our goals.

But there was a bigger question that I felt in my heart and stomach and mind…

Will I be brave enough to let him go? Knowing the world we live in. Knowing how scary it can be. How vulnerable he is too.

Again, I want to say yes.

That boys mom was brave enough to let her son go and I will be too. When the time comes.

I hope. I hope I can trust in the kindness of the world.

Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook.