April 24, 2024
Do Not Be Ashamed for Getting Help
I committed a pretty big social media mistake once. Well, way more than once since then, but I remember this one specifically because it was my first. It was well over 6 years ago, but I still shake my head at how tone deaf I was.
I posted a quote on Instagram to my hundred followers that said something like, ‘I should get a little credit for doing this all unmedicated.’ I thought it was funny, I guess.
My followers did not. They lashed out. At first I couldn’t understand why. But I quickly learned. I had messed up big time. In more ways than one.
See, I was unmedicated. I wasn’t receiving counseling or help in anyway in my life. And I was going through some hard stuff. My son did not sleep at all. And I mean AT ALL. He woke up every 40 minutes or so throughout the night and started our day well before 4 am.
He screamed a lot. Our house was locked down tight. I was trying to raise another little boy too and unable to give all of me because I was pulled in so many different directions.
Did I mention I never slept? I worked full time outside of our home too. And I was doing it all alone because my marriage was not working at that point.
I was sad and lonely and felt like a failure most days. On the outside I was smiling. Always smiling. That we me. Full of energy and positive. But I did not feel that way on the inside.
I never asked for help. I never asked for help from a friend or family member. I never talked to a doctor or a therapist. I probably would not have taken the help anyways. That was just me. Stubborn.
I mostly just survived in 24-hour increments. And I guess that quote made me think that I was the better mom maybe? I do not know. Who knows what I felt at that time? I was wrong though.
We all need help in some form or fashion. I did and I still do.
Maybe it’s counseling or a phone call with a friend. Maybe it’s a drink after the kids finally go to bed. Maybe it’s exercise or anxiety or sleeping medication.
Maybe it’s a shower or a walk or hiding in your closet.
Maybe it’s all of it.
ASK FOR HELP — TAKE THE HELP – DO NOT BE ASHAMED FOR GETTING HELP
Here is the deal, there are no medals given out to people at the end of life who suffered through the most. And it sure ain’t a competition.
It’s not like I am going to get to my last days and someone is going to sweep in and say…’you are the best mom because you did it unmedicated. Or without counseling. Or without help.’ It does not work like that.
Asking for help, saying it’s hard and accepting help is incredibly brave. I know that now.
Do not be afraid to ask for help. But then take it too. Absolutely take it. And don’t feel guilty.
Sending so much love to all the mamas out there white knuckling this thing called life.
Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook.
