October 24, 2023
Things I Wish I Had Known When My Son Was First Diagnosed With Autism
To not always believe what the professionals told me.
That no one has a crystal ball about his future.
That what I am feeling is grief. And grief is love.
To let go of the guilt.
To focus on self-care earlier. And my marriage.
To make finding peace a priority.
To not judge my beginnings so harshly.
To focus on the good more, even when it is hardest to find.
To stand up for myself sooner.
To realize that the child I have right now is not the child I will have a year from now.
To acknowledge that the goal is not to turn an autistic person into a non-autistic person. The goal is to help an autistic person who struggles, become an autistic person who has less struggles.
That very few people will understand our lives, and that I don’t have to defend our choices.
That the biggest critics and givers of advice, know nothing of our struggles.
To choose my battles carefully because my energy is not infinite.
That it’s not a race against time. Our kids are lifelong learners.
That I am learning too and to give myself some grace.
To let people go that don’t want to be in our life.
To not follow blindly when it comes to my son; We are on our own path.
That this can be a very lonely and isolating journey and to look for helpers.
To spend less time researching how to help my son and instead spend my time meeting him where he is at.
To make sure my other children have autonomy. And a safe space to ask questions and share.
That wanting to give up at times makes me human but refusing to do so makes me a parent.
That I will love this child more than I ever thought humanly possible.
That a diagnosis of autism affects each member of the family and often in different ways.
And finally, that I am so blessed in my life.
Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook.
