October 16, 2023
From Pumpkins to Pine: Cooper’s Christmas Countdown
Last night we brought our four kids to a greenhouse to pick out pumpkins.
Our middle son was very excited. He loves all things holidays. He also loves overdoing things, much like his mama. 17 pumpkins seems totally reasonable to us. And the little ones, they were in heaven too.
Our older son Cooper, well, he was along for the ride. Pumpkins aren’t really his jam.
That is until he realized that the green house had Christmas trees. So many Christmas trees.
He immediately gasped and brought his hands to his face when he saw them and ran to his new happy place.
He touched every tree. He showed me every one too. He tried to put them in his pocket. He attempted to lift one into the cart. He staged a sit in. He tried to negotiate the biggest one.
Thankfully, we were able to get him out of there. I was a bit worried he might never leave.
On the ride home he watched a Dora Christmas episode. Then a Super Why Christmas episode.
He danced to Christmas carols. He gasped at Santa. He asked me, nonverbally of course, how many sleeps until Santa comes. He asked for presents.
I explained to him a reasonable gift and a ‘not possible’ gift. I’m not sure if he understood why I can’t get him a real life Dora in a fire truck but I tried.
On and on it went.
As we were negotiating Christmas, I couldn’t help but smile. I get this forever. I get the magic of Santa, the joy of gifts and lights and trees, forever.
I get the magic of innocence. The magic of the true meaning of Christmas. The magic of believing.
Forever.
I am no stranger to feeling pains of grief at times when I come face to face with things my son will never do. I’m not invincible. I’m not spared from the realities of this autism life.
Why lie about it? Who does that help? Not me. Not my son. Not other parents.
But tonight, I felt like I won the lottery. Because I get this. My son will be 13 and he is just now falling in love with Santa.
I’m the lucky one. Because I get his magic forever. I get this forever.
Pure joy.
Merry Christmas season in October from Cooper.
And it’s 72 sleeps until Christmas. Cooper has it on the calendar.
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