To the Struggling Mother at Target

As I walked up to the register, I saw a Mom with two daughters, one in the cart sitting quietly and one becoming upset.

As we both waited to check out, I could see the young girl getting more and more dysregulated. I watched as the Mom started to try and navigate the situation. Her daughter then began to yell. This wasn’t a tantrum as other who were watching might call it.

I could focus in on the little girls movement her energy and recognized it immediately.

I am not saying I am the wizard of knowing everything that was going on but I understood the energy that was flowing into the air. I often navigate that energy in public when things just become to much. I have left carts in a quick exit when things are to elevated.

I checked out first and was waiting near the registers as the father carried the little girl out of Target and others stared. As the Mom walked past me I looked her in the eyes and gave her a warm you got this smile. Tears began to stream down her cheek.

What I wished I could have done, was reached into my purse and hand over a sensory toy that I often have in the bottom of my purse, today it was empty.

I wish I could have told her I know you are going to think of every moment of this as you lay down tonight and wonder if you are doing things right, wonder if there is something else you could have done today, you might cry again, you might wonder why is this so hard sometimes.

What I wanted to say to her, and really to me on many days was you are doing a great job, this is hard, but you will pick yourself up tomorrow and try again. The mountain of love I feel flowing off of you in our brief exchange will shower onto your sweet girl.

My kids have made me understanding and compassionate. They have taught me to spread as much understanding as I can to someone else in a struggle. They have made me in tune with the world around me in a way that I might not have been able to see before.