“I Am That Mom”: Navigating Back-To-School for Her Child With Disabilities
I am totally THAT mom.
Like physically, in my gut, hurts.
My breathing feels shallow.
My heart seems to skip beats.
My cheeks are hot and tingly.
Waves of nausea pass through my belly like the ocean when a storm is near.
Each year on that first day I feel sick with worry because I am here, and she is there.
I know my daughter is not going out into the world alone when she makes her initial ascent up the stairs of the big yellow bus each new year. I know there is a huge team of educators, helpers, and friends all along the way. And I know that my daughter loves school and learning and socializing.
But for me, the mother of a child with disabilities, it is just plain hard.
Of course there are the typical concerns of whether she will be able to find her classrooms and who she will sit with at lunch. Yes, there are many little (big) challenges like this that a new school year brings. But on top of all of the expected speed bumps, I am still worried sick.
I am worried sick wondering if she will receive the accommodations that she needs educationally.
I am worried sick thinking about whether or not she will get all the opportunities she deserves socially.
And, I am worried sick that people who are new to her will not presume competence and will lower their expectations of her.
This is the never-ending battle for parents of children with disabilities.
It shouldn’t have to be, but in reality it is one that will always exist for us. We have to be our children’s advocates in the world now, as we teach them the skills necessary to self-advocate in the future.
So, yes, I am THAT mom who is terribly uneasy on the first day of school.
I am THAT mom who struggles and has to make a conscious effort to NOT email the teachers during the first hour of the new academic year.
And, I am THAT mom who wishes everyone else did, too.
