July 3, 2023
Finding Balance: Navigating the 4th of July with Autism
Tomorrow is the 4th of July. A fun, typically outdoor, social, loud, hot holiday. It’s also a holiday that can be very challenging for families like mine. And put a lot of stress on us.
See, our older son struggles with a lot of the parts that make up the fourth. He is scared of fireworks, although he loves to watch them on his iPad. The second he hears one, no matter how far away, he takes off running and hides in our pantry. Parties overwhelm him. Most noises are too much. Standing around at a BBQ sounds like a terrible idea to him. He’d rather sit home and watch his shows.
He has no fear of missing out.
But, our other three kids loves parties. And fireworks and parades. Jamie and I do too. We want to enjoy. We don’t want to spend the holiday alone in the house.
This is the balance I always talk about. Two different worlds. A foot in each. Trying to bridge a gap between the two.
It took a lot of years for us to figure out works for our family. Almost like a complicated algorithm. One stays home. One goes. We switch off. We have help from grandparents and personal care attendants when we can.
We make plans knowing we may have to cancel. We host when we can. We educate about autism and the path less traveled.
I think the point is, we can’t force our son to enjoy the ‘norms’ of the world but what we can do is figure out what works for us. And know that it will look a whole lot different than every other family.
Boating as a family and then the oldest home safe before the first firework is shot. It works.
I hope everyone has a safe and happy fourth. Whether you are staying home, going out, or doing a combination of both please know, families like mine understand how complicated it can be.
You got this!
Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook.
