June 26, 2023
A Difficult Decision: Splitting Up for Disneyland, Leaving One Behind
As I ascended the stairs onto the aircraft, I knew our decision was the right one.
Leaving our son, Rhys, at home, while we took our other two children to Disneyland, was a hard decision to make, but in our world these tough decisions are what we face daily.
We live life differently because my son is autistic and this world is not designed to make it easy.
I thought back to many occasions where Rhys’ brother had been so excited for a day trip and then only allowed to see the entrance gate before returning to the car.
He has never once moaned, complained or questioned our decision to turn around and go home.
Seeing his younger brother meltdown at entrances to wildlife parks, or amusement centres or just at the local soft play, have always been taken with an exceptional level of maturity.
When Rhys’ sister arrived into the fold, she took on the disappointment too. Excitements taken away from her at the last second because her brother could not cope.
We did start to split up as a family, and make sure each child could experience life and create memories in their own unique way.
But our eldest and youngest children still had not been able to have the big stuff – the aeroplane journeys and trips to enchanted lands.
I listen to the noise as I stand in the queue that is taking ages, and I know that my son Rhys could get speedy boarding and assistance, he could probably cope with the airport through different adaptations – maybe one day we can try a flight?
Then I think of the rides and music and sensory overload of Disneyland and know he couldn’t cope in that environment. Well at least not yet.
But more importantly, I look at my two other children as we stand in line, and I know they need this. They need to have a moment where it is all for them. A few days where the adventure is guaranteed and they do not have to advocate for their brother.
So as much as I have a sick feeling deep down, I know this was the right thing to do. Rhys is home, he has his school routine, and Granny and Grandpa are energised and ready to go.
