Exploring the Possibilities: Navigating the Idea of a Group Home
Not Yet … Maybe One Day …
The drive wasn’t bad about 40 miles from our home.
As we sat in the waiting area you seemed confused and looked a bit scared. I sat next to you. I could feel all the questions. Questions you can’t ask. Words you can’t find.
I could read your soulful eyes. I didn’t know what words to choose so instead I said nothing.
We were visiting our Plan B.
We discussed what to tell you and decided on saying we’re seeing “new friends.”
It seemed too complicated.
I don’t have a crystal ball that tells our future and there are no guarantees in life.
Our Plan A is to always care and provide and love you but if we don’t prepare for the unforeseen it would be reckless of us. So, here we are visiting the possibility of a new home if it’s ever needed.
It’s a hard pill to swallow the possibility you may not always reside with us.
It hits so deeply … all the emotions … all the questions.
I never thought I’d be a lifelong caregiver but something else I didn’t realize would happen is how much joy it brings me. The teaching, guiding, supporting and watching you grow and understanding more and more is something I honestly wasn’t prepared to love so much.
I know you’ve grown because of all the support you’ve been given and in a group home it wouldn’t be as individualized. Growth would look very different.
I watched you walk rapidly from room to room violating boundaries and wondering if this is a place you would fit.
The peers were much older some even elderly making it seem awkward perhaps and maybe not the ideal fit.
I so longed to hear your thoughts.
Instead you explored while the residents peered at you. It felt as though we were invading their home which was uncomfortable.
You eventually found the TV and DVDs and that was where you felt most at home. You settled in effortlessly. The connection to inanimate objects is something you’ve mastered.
Being next to others is mastered yet the authentic connection lost.
Instead just roaming and discovering the surroundings.
I have so many questions …
Did you feel comfortable?
Did you feel a sense of unity?
Did you feel safe?
We all want to feel a sense of belonging.
We all want to be among our people.
We didn’t find our Plan B that day so for now and hopefully for a long time to come we are your people.
We know what you need.
We know how to help you.
We keep you safe but most of all we treasure and love our time with you.
“Time is the true gift. Cherish it and make it last for one day time will be no longer“
Written by Leasa Hoogerwerf of Cody Speaks
