Autism Diagnosis: 5 Life-Changing Lessons
1. You learn very quickly the value of eye contact.
When someone looks you in the eyes, especially your own child who you worked endless hours with in therapy, looks at you, not around you, it’s like the rest of the world fades away.
You soak up every moment, every beautiful unspoken word, and you learn how to connect with your child on a deeper level of love and understanding. So now, when anyone gives me the gift of eye contact, I know to treasure that moment and establish a connection.
2. Autism taught me that not every person is meant to be on your team.
The world of special needs parenting is exhausting. It has made me a mediocre wife, a less than available friend, a distant family member at times… and you know what?
That’s okay!
The true friends, believers in your journey, wait out the hard. They’re ready for you whenever your chaos allows time for you to breathe and rejoin their conversations. And husbands, the good ones, they bring you back down from the rabbit hole of a diagnosis.
3. You learn that advocacy isn’t always a negative term.
When I started this journey, the word “advocate” meant arguments, scare tactics, and made people uncomfortable. As my attitude has changed, as I’ve seen the products of angry advocacy and collaborative advocacy, my respect has shifted.
I take pride in a collaborative approach and have learned that you can do the right thing and still work towards creating a team movement. No more “us vs. them” if we can help it.
4. You are never alone.
Waiting to hear your kids’ voices? Waiting for a spot in therapy? Awake at 3 am with your non-sleeper? You’re never alone, my friend. You will meet and walk alongside some of the most fearless, understanding, and amazing people you’ve ever met along the way if you just look for them. We all have hard, we all feel defeated, and knowing that you are never alone in that will make this journey bearable.
5. You will learn to love your children in a way that can only be felt and not put into words.
Those of us who have walked, and many who still are walking through the unknown of the day to day of an autism diagnosis will understand. You learn to cherish every victory, no matter how small.
You look at them with such wonder.
They fill you with so much hope, gratitude, and pride that you wonder how there isn’t a stronger word for “love” because you feel it every single day.
When I look back on my pregnancy and our life pre-diagnosis, I had no idea what was in store. I had a vision of what our life would look like for our son, but Jackson has given me so much more.
My children give me the best of both worlds of parenting, but I never count out the life lessons that came with autism. No matter what I was thinking in this photo, I have never questioned the fact that I was meant to be his mama, and he was meant to be exactly.
Written by Amanda Deluca of Jackson’s Journey, Jackson’s Voice.
