Against All Odds: From NICU to Buying His First Car

I don’t even know where to start with all of my emotions. I’m beyond proud of the amazing young man my son, TJ has become. He has overcome so many struggles and obstacles to get where he is today. 

I brought TJ home from the hospital 27 years ago. He was 4 1/2 months old and finally big and strong enough to leave the NICU.

He was born at 25 weeks and just under two pounds. He had a tracheostomy placed at 3 1/2 months to wean off the ventilator, but still required oxygen 24/7. He had a gastrostomy tube placed at one month since this was going to be his means of nutrition for the unforeseen future. 

Due to a significant brain bleed, also known as an intraventricular hemorrhage (IVH), which is common in preemies born that early, the doctors explained as much as they knew and told me they couldn’t predict his future disabilities and extra needs. 

TJ first came home into foster care and after his first birthday I was able to petition for adoption. After the long process, his adoption was final at the age of 2 1/2.

At this point he was no longer on oxygen and still learning to walk. Over the next couple of years he had his tracheostomy and gastrostomy tube removed and started to have a few words. He slowly blossomed from there. 

Since the age of three or four TJ has had a very strong interest in cars and even learned his colors by seeing different color cars on the road. 

We never knew if driving would be a possibility for him but we continued to foster his interest. When he was old enough, we signed him up for driver’s education. We helped him study, took him for his permit test over and over again. We took breaks and studied some more. After many more attempts, TJ passed his permit test.

We took him driving in a parking lot then moved to less busy roads. We also scheduled him for a driving assessment to determine he was a candidate to drive. After more practice, we scheduled a driver’s exam and he passed. 

TJ has been working a fulltime job and saving his money to get a newer car. He has studied cars and knew exactly what he wanted a year ago.

A couple weeks ago, we had a little time and went to the dealership. TJ found the car he wanted and due to the weather and our schedules, it didn’t work out to go back until yesterday. 

Yesterday, he purchased the car he wanted. He wrote a check for the down payment and completed all the paperwork with assistance from me. He was able to take out his first loan without mom or dad co-signing. This is all a huge accomplishment and Dave and I are so proud of him. TJ is beaming with pride and excitement and we are so happy for him. His hard work and determination paid off with a huge reward. 

To other parents, never underestimate what your child or young adult can do. Keep your expectations high, foster their interests and help stretch them to their maximum capabilities.

Written by Kris Lindsey of Fostering Love & Hope: The Lindsey Way