We Have to Follow the Rules
Sometimes, I feel like all we have are rules.
There’s rules and restrictions for everything in our house.
My son Daniel is six and has autism and ADHD. He loves playing with toys, but they easily frustrate him. Especially if they have small pieces, can break easily, or have a lot of accessories.
There’s a toy he has from Incredibles 2 that was taken away recently because it made him mad.
He wants to play with all his toys at once, but he doesn’t understand that when you mix and match accessories that didn’t initially come together, they may not fit or work the way he wants them to.
But that’s what we had to do. Just take it away.
There’s no explaining or trying to help or talking him through it. It’s just best to take it away altogether. After the 20th time of anger outbursts in 10 minutes, it just has to be put away somewhere else.
For the safety of himself and others, he’s not allowed to play with certain things if it keeps frustrating him.
It’s another rule.
Along with all the other ones we’ve had to implement because it leads to irritation and behaviors.
He can only play with certain toys because he can’t handle other ones.
The toys can’t be smaller than a specific size because he loses them.
We have to make sure it’s nothing that would easily break.
We can’t take them in the car because if he drops it, he melts down, which makes the other kids melt down.
Other people can’t gift him things he’d really like because we know how he’d react if it breaks or gets lost.
We don’t even allow him to play with toys right after he comes home from school. He needs at least 30 minutes of quiet time when he comes home to decompress.
We found that the transition from school to home is really hard for him. He doesn’t know how to shut off his brain on his own, so we have to help him.
There’s just so many rules.
I’ve heard this is how it is for ADHD and autism families. There have to be rules for safety. For sanity.
The Incredibles 2 toy is something we just brought back out again after 6 months. We’re giving it a try again. So far, it’s been OK. But the moment there’s frustration and behaviors, it gets taken away again.
We have to follow the rules.
