This was without a doubt the most challenging year for our family. This was the year we had to call in help to look at safety, support for aggression, goodbye to all medications because none were working. But we also learned the most lessons, came out stronger, and have a better foundation for raising a son with autism.
Here are twenty one lessons autism has taught us this past year:
1. In their own time, in their own way.
2. People are curious and want to understand how to help, asking questions is just often uncomfortable.
3. It has brought some of the strongest, and most genuine women I know into my life.
4. Your behavior, as a parent, can benefit from therapy just as much as your child’s.
5. Ignoring the behavior does not mean ignoring the child.
6. Self-care is not selfish.
7. The days are long, but the years are short.
8. Progress is worth celebrating, no matter how big or small.
9. Your child’s IEP is not meant to for them to keep up with all the other children, it’s meant to meet their unique needs.
10. Nobody else is going to advocate for your needs or the needs of your child like you can mama.
11. Asking for help shows great strength, it is not a sign of weakness.
12. Your child has an entire team of specially designed support personnel at school, don’t try to take all of that responsibility on yourself if they need to quarantine at home. It’s not realistic mama, for anyone.
13. They know you are doing the best that you can, and they’re thankful you’re their parent.
14. It’s completely ok to take days off.
15. Bad days are completely normal for you, and your child.
16. Inclusion is more than your child attending “specials” with their peers at school.
17. An escalated adult can not de-escalate a child. Finding tools to remain safe and neutral are crucial for the adult.
18. Saying I need a break, I need more support does NOT mean you’re saying you love your child any less. In fact it means the exact opposite. Asking for help to be better for them proves how much you love them.
19. Teaching our children skills for independence is not something we need to save for transition age (14+), these skills should be looked at as early as possible.
20. Parenting a child with autism is forever, that’s heavy and planning for forever is a lot to think about. It’s ok if you’re not ready right after diagnosis, take time to get there.
21. You are doing an amazing job, even when you don’t think so. We need to give ourselves grace, because nobody is judging us as harshly as we judge ourselves.
22- This journey can be extremely isolating, and know that after years of navigating a diagnosis I have learned it’s so much better not doing it alone. Set a goal for 2023 to share your story, reach out to another mom, find a way to feel supported. Trust me, you need it.
As we come to the end of another year I want you to remember that there are new lessons to learn every day from our amazing children. They teach us about joy, communication, gratitude, and even sometimes heartache. Every year is a new opportunity for growth, new milestones, more memories, and an entire year of new lessons. Remember to pause, and take the time to learn from the day to day lessons of this life.
Written by Amanda DeLuca of Jackson’s Journey Jackson’s Voice
