My Autistic Son’s First Dance

My boy attended his first middle school dance last night. The statement alone evokes a slew of emotions, undoubtedly steeped in years of questions surrounding whether or not participating in milestone events such as these would be possible for Leo who is on the autism spectrum.

Yesterday evening, I laid out a pair of khaki pants, and a polo, hoping they’d be sufficient for the occasion. I’d asked Leo’s teacher what the kids usually wear to these functions, my own middle school days seemingly a lifetime ago…

Leo giggled excitedly as I helped him dress, the glimmer of anticipation within his beautiful eyes, peering down at me while I spiked up his hair and spritzed on some cologne.

He looked so grown. How does he look so grown? I thought, burrowing the emotions deep down within my momma heart.

Sounds of gregarious preteen chatter enveloped the air as Leo and I approached the school, forging our way through the crowd of Leo’s peers who were barricading the entrance way, awaiting access to the building.

Leo’s teacher had instructed us to come inside early, to avoid the inevitable stampede which would make its way through the doors at 6 pm sharp. His teacher, and several other staff members ushered us through the doors, allowing Leo time to inspect the gymnasium, transformed for the evening’s event. 

Leo appeared intrigued, albeit perhaps a bit unsure of what was to come. He made his way to the adjacent cafeteria, set up with snacks for hungry adolescents. My boy made a beeline towards the pizza boxes piled up on one of the concession tables, and sat down with his slice, just as the doors swung open, allowing the mounds of tweens to pour into the school.

I watched as groups formed around the concessions, and within the gymnasium, excitement a flutter, while my boy sat content with his slice of pizza, and a couple more to follow.

His teacher, scrambling to stamp the hands of incoming attendees glanced over often, protectively, and I nodded back reassuringly that all was okay.

Once the commotion simmered down a bit, we made our way back into the gymnasium, my boy and I, music blaring through the speakers amidst students gathered across the dance floor.

I observed him closely, absorbing his surroundings; a pensive smile crossed his face, as I walked beside him, following his lead while he strolled across the vast room, stopping periodically to shuffle his feet to the music.

Leo’s friend E approached him.

“Hi Leo!” She greeted warmly, as Leo gestured back with a wave, and a quiet “hi” in return.

She smiled sweetly at my boy, a reminder of the genuine friendships he’s formed these past couple of school years.

Returning to the cafeteria, Leo gently tugged on his coat, an indication that he’d had his fill of the night’s festivities.
During the drive home he giggled happily, and the emotions I’d kept buried within, rose to the surface, as I braced myself for the journey ahead. The teenage years which have arrived in inexplicably quick fashion.

More dances, and school functions, and all of the challenges that they may entail.

Yet, walking through the door to our home, the sounds of daddy and sissy eagerly awaiting details from the evening events, I felt immense reassurance.

Any challenges, as they have been over these past 12 years, I know will be outweighed by moments of triumph, and joy. 

My boy…My sweet young man…

Keep on Dancing…

Written by Ellie Whetzel of My Life With Leo