When There Is No Silent Night
“Silent night, Holy night. All is calm, all is bright…” the familiar, beloved carol that ironically swims around the depths of my mind circa 3am during the holiday season.
It is ironic because not all is silent, calm, or bright. Did you know up to 80% of autistic individuals struggle with sleep? For Olivia, it is a lack of sleep that causes the struggle. Since she was 4 months old, Olivia has fled challenges learning to fall and stay asleep.
I really do understand the concept that we are all individuals. One size doesn’t fit all. Some kids don’t need as much sleep as others. Some are nappers. Some sleep flat out 12 hours on a regular basis.
I also understand that a child with sleep challenges impacts every aspect of life. Your child may not need much sleep, but their attitude and behavior suggest otherwise.
A responsible adult has to sacrifice their sleep needs and remain functioning.
You see, autism isn’t just a sleep disruption, is it?
The day time brings its own sets of requirements from a caregivers stand point. This becomes 10 times harder when you’re chronically sleep deprived. It’s all encompassing, all consuming, all hands on deck when your child wakes frequently.
Proprioception, self regulation, anxiety, sensory processing, and interoception are some of the reasons I have been given as to why we struggle so much. The use of ‘we’ not being a slip.
If you have a child who struggles with sleep, it’s a family affair!
Over the past year, my girl has improved considerably to where we now experience sleep regressions as opposed to never ending long nights.
Over the years, I have gained this knowledge as to why sleep can be so elusive. With that experience and my willingness to share our story, I receive a lot of advice and suggestions. I would like to impart some of that to you.
Advice you receive is exactly that: advice! Another’s experience does not necessarily have any bearings on your situation. Sleep deprivation can show as an unrecognizable reflection when you look in the mirror. It can tear at your soul. It can make you question all you thought you knew for certain.
My advice to you is you know your kid. Love them. Honor them. Keep them. Use your knowledge of them to offer the best you can, and know you are doing your best. And that IS enough.
