I Wondered Why Autism

Earlier in my journey I would often wonder why.

Why my daughter, our family?

It seemed unjust, unfair, why did this happen to her?

It didn’t make sense, when I looked around I saw other families and their children and everything looked different from ours.

Easy, simple, typical

We were anything but. We were loud, chaotic, and everything was challenging.

I searched for a reason, for something that could explain it.

There wasn’t an answer.

This was the life she was given, the life we were all given.

I didn’t know anyone else who had a child with autism.

Her challenges were very apparent. We stood out. We were stared at and not understood.

Over time I realize it didn’t matter why.

I learned that differences are okay.

Autism has its struggles I do not dispute that, and some of them are really hard.

Autism brought me my daughter and that I would never change.

It made me who I am, it changed me at my core.

It showed me beauty I would be unaware of. The beauty that lies inside my daughter is beauty like nothing I have ever known.

Her innocence, her joy, is like no one else.

Her heart is pure, her smile is everything.

I wouldn’t have experienced the love and connection shared with a non verbal child. It is a bond like no other.

She wouldn’t of been able to bring hope and comfort to others on this journey.

I wouldn’t of met so many of the amazing woman I have met and formed friendships with.

A wouldn’t of known the strength I possess had autism not enter our lives.

This life may be the road less traveled but it is a beautiful life nonetheless. It is a life with trial and tribulations like many others, but that teaches inner strength and unconditional love.

It’s a journey of mixed emotions where you often find yourself smiling through your tears.