My Autistic Son and Anxiety
It’s a weird thing, anxiety.
Purposefully placed inside our minds, as a means to keep us safe from outside harm. It’s there to keep us cautious and on our toes.
Can you imagine a world where you had none?
Where you walk this earth fearful of nothing. Jumping from high spaces, running at full speed, no brakes, and carrying a “maybe deal with it later” mentality?
I bet you answered “yes and no” to each of these. So did I.
But my son, those answers are much different.
His colorful mind yearns for fast, and exciting, and 100%.
And even when he doesn’t have a “want” or need for it, his brain goes along anyhow. Like his mind and body create a disconnect at some point in the day’s minutes.
I sometimes sit across the room from my beautiful boy, watching him climb, run, stim, holler, giggle, and throw, and find myself deep in thought about the root cause of his anxiety.
Because I know how anxiety feels in it’s worst moments, and I’d never wish that pressure on a soul; let alone my child.
Is it me?
Does mine rub off on him, like wet paint to a shirt? Did my life’s anxiety breed his, from day one?
Because this handsome, little man is SMART, and sassy, and always listening.
He is autistic… not deaf. Something people tend to forget that sometimes.
I try not to speak of his challenges in front of him, because he already knows them well. Better than any of us.
He wears his achievements proudly, like gold medals, as he should. And I never want that to change.
It’s just funny… how anxiety can save us, and trap us all in one go.
Autism can carry a heavy bag of tools and tears for the individual.
But, if there’s nothing else I do in this life, I will push my son to remember his worth.
He will know that anxiety can help and harm.
I would love to connect to you to exchange conversations, recommendations, learning and advice. I have sn 11year old son who is non verbal and autistic.