He was Born Autistic

People ask me all the time about my son’s first signs of autism.

For some children, it’s textbook. A quick google search returns a lack of or loss of words, struggles with eye contact, or lack of imaginative play.

For other kids, the diagnosis doesn’t come so easy. It’s more complicated. Pages full of questions and checkboxes that parents agonize over. Waiting. Worrying. Wondering. I call it the in between space.

For us, our sweet boy was born autistic. From the second he was placed in my arms I knew. Maybe not the word autism. But I knew something.

And while that’s not everyone’s story, that’s ours. That’s his.

And the sign that I point to now…well, I never found it in a textbook or in a google search.

For Cooper, it was everything being a no. His world never seemed to grow, only shrink.

It was a no to stacking blocks, to going for a walk or a ride, to playing a game, to participating.

He refused to try foods or visit the zoo or take a ride on the lawn mower.

It was a no to riding the tilt-a-whirl, going down the water slide, or a new pair fo shoes.

Until one day, it felt like his world was so tiny and that not a soul remembered him or us.

It was hard. Hard for him.

And for me as a mama, I have never and will never care about having a child who wins the race or scores the winning basket.

I just want my kids to try. Have fun. Be in the world. Enjoy the gifts that we have been given. And our family.

Today, at eleven years old, my sweet boy joined in with his brothers and friends to play basketball in the pool. He jumped off the diving board. He ran and chased and pointed.

I’m not sure he always understood the game that was being played. Or why the kids moved so quickly from spot to spot. And it wasn’t always easy for him to keep up.

But he very much enjoyed sliding like a penguin and clapping at the end. He loved their energy. Their joy. And being included.

Today, it wasn’t a no. It was a…’I’d love to try if you will help me.’ And it was epic. Just like Cooper.

My husband always says…life is about doing stuff. And I agree.

I want my kids to do and see and enjoy it all.

Watching his world open up AND ENJOY has been the most loveliest experience.

I’ve watched him go down a very scary water slide. Sit with his brother on the scrambler at the local fair. Jump off a boat. Zip line. Hug Santa. Ride a horse. Try a chocolate ice cream cone. Run the bases in Miracle League.

The list is getting longer. His list. His world.

Every bit worth the wait

Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. Follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and join our supporter page, Coop’s Troops, for an amazing community full of support and understanding.