I Will Listen

I think a lot about what a privilege it is to be able to communicate and be understood. Probably more than the average person.

Not always of course. When my son was 1 and 2 and even 3-years-old, and not babbling, I remember crying in worry on the phone to my mom and her saying…’everybody talks Katie.’

I can still here her saying it. The words providing so much comfort at first. Even my dad sneaking in…’I just know he is going to talk sweetheart.’

Well, here we are. 11-years-old and my yellow-haired boy still doesn’t use many words. I mean, yes, he can say ‘m-o-m’ a hundred times a day like any other kid. And his brother’s names too.

But he mostly communicates with sounds and gestures and photos and characters in movies. It’s pretty amazing honestly.

He also uses a computer to talk. It’s called a speech device. A talker as we call it. And he presses buttons and the words come out. It is his voice in this chaotic world.

Yesterday, he had a very hard afternoon at school. So difficult that when the phone rang, I saw the school’s name on the caller ID.

The lady told me on the phone that his teacher had to leave for the day, and he was struggling with the substitute. They didn’t know what was wrong or how to help. They needed us to come get him.

When he walked in the door, where I was waiting for him to arrive with his dad, I could tell instantly that he was sad. I saw it in his eyes and his shoulders. His hands clasped together. Tight. And cheeks red from crying.

‘Talk to me Cooper, what happened? Get your talker. Tell us.’

And the little boy with very few spoken words, opened his backpack and pulled out his device.

He pushed four buttons in a row.

Teacher.
Teacher.
Sad.
I’m sorry.

When he looked up at me, I saw true remorse in his eyes. And frustration.

‘I am sorry.’

It is a gift and a privilege to be able to communicate and have others understand.

Please know that my son has taught me a million things, through autism and disability, but the greatest is to listen.

I will always listen, no matter how you communicate. No matter what language. No matter if you feel silenced.

I will listen.

‘M-O-M,’ he said, slow, annunciating each syllable.

‘I’m listening, buddy. And I hear you. It’s hard to miss someone. It makes our hearts hurt.’

Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. Follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and join our supporter page, Coop’s Troops, for an amazing community full of support and understanding.