Touch

Cooper has always communicated by touch.

I like to believe it’s a nonverbal thing. His autism thing. And a Cooper thing.

In my mind it’s a way to feel and show someone emotion when it’s hard to understand the words. Or facial expressions.

It’s a way to say ‘I love you’ or ‘I am mad’ when the words can’t come out.

It’s a way to get someone’s attention too.

Listen to me. Look at me. Notice me.

If Cooper really likes you, he will touch your face ever so gently. He will gasp and draw you in with his eyes.

It’s one of my most favorite things. Because I know something magical is about to happen.

This morning, and every single morning for the last eight years, he has woke me up by touching my face.

When he wants to tell me he loves me he will use his hand to cup my cheek.

When he needs me to slow down, or listen, he will use both hands to hold my face.

During my hardest autism parenting moment, one I don’t share all that often, he used his finger to push my tears back into my eyes.

And when he’s frustrated with his baby brother for messing with his puzzles or taking his treasures, he will put his hand on baby brother’s head. He will not hurt him. He never has.

But he will let him know he’s not happy with him.

Harbor smiles. Every time. He doesn’t understand he is getting scolded. He just knows he’s getting attention. From his big brother. The one that is always around him but yet keeps to himself.

The other day the Harbor was dancing around the waiting room at the pediatrician, flirting with little girls and charming nurses. He was being Harbor.

He walked up to a little girl, one with pigtails and boots that lit up, and gently touched her head. Then touched his own. Then hers again. Then his own.

The little girl didn’t understand. She ran off. The mom smiled, laughed and asked what he was doing.

I told her, ‘showing love like his brother. He has autism. And that’s how it’s done in our house.’

Touch. It’s pretty powerful.

Don’t be afraid of other forms of communication. You can show love without words. Amazing love.

I think sometimes we lose that as we grow up. The ability to believe in a touch or a smile. These two get it.

Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. Follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and join our supporter page, Coop’s Troops, for an amazing community full of support and understanding.