They Completed Our Family

Someone once told me that my husband and I had a third and fourth children as replacements for our oldest son.

See the little one on the right there with the mischievous smile? And the little meatball on Sawyer’s lap? Those two.

I assume they wrote that comment to hurt me. Or to remind me what a crappy mom I am. Or maybe they were just angry and miserable. Who knows I guess.

What a ridiculous statement though. A replacement child.

I’m not sure why we would ever replace Cooper. He’s very much here.

He’s 11 and is currently waiting on two movies from Amazon. This morning he asked me to go water park 57 times and tattled on his baby brother for throwing my iPhone. Oh, and he did all that without words.

Pretty cool huh? He’s pretty opinionated too and gets his point across so let’s be clear…there is absolutely no way we could forget about Cooper. And replace him…not possible. He’s one of a kind.

He’s not a token person in our life because he has a disability. He’s a member of this family. Equal.

And those two little ones…well, they completed our family.

Harbor is three years old now going on 13. He adores Nerf Guns and the monster truck Grave Digger. He can name every single dinosaur. He does not like sleeping. He is obsessed with his older brothers. BOTH OF THEM. And adores his baby sister. He is by far my messiest child and the word feral comes to mind. He may be the death of me one day.

And our baby girl. She is loved. Treasured. Doted on. She also doesn’t love sleep. But we are working on it.

These two additions healed our family. Not that we were broken. But sometimes, hard things, challenging things, isolating things, change people.

But these two, they filled in the cracks. They force their way into everything. Even the world of an eleven year old boy who likes to be a alone a lot. And they do it in a way that an adult never could.

They are like a bridge between two worlds. And glue too.

I’m not sure why anyone should ever have to justify why they have a baby but here goes.

We had a third baby (and a fourth) because we wanted MORE. More love. More chaos. More joy. More, more, more. More for each of our kids. More for Sawyer. More for Cooper. More for us. More for the future.

But never too replace. Just to add.

These four I tell ya. I know in my heart they will change the world. Each playing their own role. Buckle up because it’s going to be fun to watch!

Look at us over here…raising future advocates.

Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. Follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and join our supporter page, Coop’s Troops, for an amazing community full of support and understanding.