Now I Want Strong and Happy

I just spent two whole days in a swim suit at a water park.

At 38 years old. As a mother of four.

And I found myself remembering back when. Back when I rocked a bikini and had no insecurities.

I saw fit people and bigger people and thin people and athletic people.

Some were covered in tattoos and some with piercings.

Some were in one piece swimsuits and some in bikinis. Some were covered up and some were not.

Some were confident and owned it and some were not.

At one point I found myself looking down at my own belly and thinking…I should be skinnier.

‘This would be better if I was skinnier.’

Then I went down a water slide with my son. Threw a football with the other. And nursed my beautiful baby.

I played tag and wrestled and laughed and smiled.

But most importantly, I spent the day in the pool. With my kids.

My kids who don’t care what I look like.

This body. It may not be perfect.

Or anything to look at.

But it’s grew four babies. And fed them each for a year.

It’s helped me carry my older son when he’s needed me.

And calm the storm when he’s needed that too.

It’s snuggled babies. And climbed trees and built forts.

It’s carried groceries and cheered for my kids.

It’s been a jungle gym and a safe space.

I think, when we are younger, we look at our bodies so differently.

Skinny. I wanted to rock the shorts and not much else mattered.

Now at 38 I want strong.

And happy.

I want to keep up with kids and to be able to climb the steps to the tallest water slide and carry my toddler when his little legs are tired.

And I’m thankful for what I’ve been able to do.

‘Mama, this is the best day ever! Like ever, ever.’ – Sawyer

Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. Follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and join our supporter page, Coop’s Troops, for an amazing community full of support and understanding.