I Prayed for This

I just went upstairs to tell three little boys to settle down. But before, I paused at the door. Peeking into their world.

There was giggling. And fart noises

I heard hitting and tickling.

I heard booty and I like butts and I lie.

It sounded like the bed was being dismantled at one point. And the ceiling may cave in.

The middle one yelled for me numerous times, letting me know the his brothers were being wild.

I watched for a minute through the crack in the door before they saw me. I wasn’t in a hurry to end it.

I let myself soak up the sounds of three brothers doing exactly what brothers are supposed to do.

I used to pray for this. This right here.

Not for me. For them.

For years my two older boys went to bed together. The lights would go out and not a sound would be made.

No giggling. No silly conversations.

My heart ached the first time the middle brother told me he prayed for his older brother to talk to him.

I remember sleeping with my older sister on special occasions. Talking endlessly while she begged me to quit talking.

I wanted that for them.

He still has no words. But he sure can laugh at a toot and tickle a foot that has fallen over the edge of the bed.

He knows joy. And love. And brothers.

It’s funny how you pray for one thing…you pray so much for it…and then it turns out differently.

And it’s better.

‘MOM!! Cooper won’t stop giggling! He’s keeping me awake!’

Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.

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Kate Swenson

Kate Swenson lives in Minnesota with her husband Jamie, and four children, Cooper, Sawyer, Harbor and Wynnie. Kate launched Finding Cooper's Voice from her couch while her now 11-year-old son Cooper was being diagnosed with autism. Back then it was a place to write. Today it is a living, thriving community of people who want to not only advocate for autism, but also make the world a better place for individuals with disabilities and their families. Her first book, Forever Boy, will be released, April 5, 2022.

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