Focus on the Good

I want to tell you one of the lessons I’ve learned that has helped me be a better parent to my autistic son Cooper.

It’s pretty simple really.

It’s understanding that he did his best in any situation. It’s listings the positives instead of the negatives. Even if there are only 1 or 2. It’s focusing on the good instead of the bad.

Let me explain.

Tonight we went to a carnival. All six of us.

Our popular social butterfly, our curious wild child, our sweet easy baby, and our boy who is learning to navigate the world and wants so hard to try but often gets overwhelmed.

It was a fundraiser. It was at a local school. We thought how busy could it be…?

The answer is busy. Busier than I ever could have imagined.

But we did it. In we went.

Cooper is a runner. He can’t do lines. He doesn’t understand them. He sees the end prize, like a giant slide or a tilt-a-whirl and he wants immediate gratification.

But the world doesn’t work like that. So we as his parents are doing everything we possibly can to teach him.

It feels like running a marathon. With an audience. And the temperature is 120 degrees. While wrestling a bear. And smiling. Honestly, that’s putting it mildly.

But we did it. We helped him be successful.

Tonight, he rode two rides. He ate mini doughnuts. He played at a park.

Tonight he went to a carnival. And he did the absolute best that he possibly could.

Yes, we had to leave after 30 minutes. And there was screaming. And eloping. But he worked through every part of it. With me.

Together we held hands and counted and sat down and talked about movies.

And he rode a tilt-a-whirl with me and his brother.

I no longer focus on the bads. Or the negatives. Or the parts that didn’t happen. Or leaving early. Or losing $30 in food tickets. Because that stuff will eat ya alive if you let it.

I changed my mindset.

And it changed me as a person.

Saint Ambrose Catholic School

Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.