Dear Moms Who are Trying to Keep it Together

One of the hardest things about being a mom is holding it together when all you want to do is breakdown and cry. 

I see you out in public fighting back the tears. Tears that have been building up all day because you’re just exhausted. 

You have been up for hours with no sleep because your child is going through a sleep regression. 

I see the frustration in your face that you’re tired of being judged. Judged that you’re doing everything wrong. 

I can see it in your eyes, that look from hiding the pain of dealing with severe aggression. Feeling scared to talk about the aggression issues because you’re scared of being judged. 

Or worried people will then judge your child. 

I know the feeling of letting yourself go. 

No point doing your hair because you eventually will be throwing it up to handle a meltdown. 

Or putting make-up on because you will be crying most of the day. 

I see you moms.

I know this journey is hard. No one truly understands unless they live it each day. 

It’s pointless to discuss how you’re feeling and what is going on to your neurotypical parent friends. 

They would never understand. 

The feeling of isolation taking over. 

Anxiety is at an all-time high. 

Depression begins to ruin marriages or friendships. 

We special needs moms seem to have our child’s autism diagnosis grief cycle on repeat. 

We begin to blame ourselves. 

Begin to blame others. Ask God, “why us?” 

Moms, it is okay to admit this is hard. It’s okay to have breakdowns. It’s okay to cry and be emotional. It’s okay to take medication to help us feel better. 

There is no shame. 

We all have daily battles every day. 

Hard is hard. 

We just have different ways of dealing with our hard. 

That is okay. 

Mothers should never feel ashamed of their feelings. 

As a fellow special needs mom, I want to tell you that you’re all beautiful, strong, and inspiring women. 

You advocate hard for your child. You have sleepless nights to make sure they are provided all the resources, therapies, etc. 

You put yourself on the back burner to make sure your child has everything they need to succeed. 

One thing I can’t stress enough is special needs moms need to take their mental health seriously. 

We have to continue taking care of our children, so we need to be healthy as well. 

Mothers, please do not give up. You all are a HUGE inspiration. 

Written by, Emily Ransom

Emily Ransom is a mother to a beautiful five-year-old boy who has severe autism and epilepsy. Kash is nonverbal. Emily received her master’s in Special Education with an emphasis on Autism and Emotional and Behavioral Disorders in May 2021. Emily has a blog titled Mama to Kash’s Voice where she shares her son’s journey through autism. Her blogs provide a safe place for families to not feel alone. Emily resides in Indiana with her husband Adam, Kash, and daughter Briella. They have two dogs one being Kash’s autism therapy dog. 

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Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.

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Kate Swenson

Kate Swenson lives in Minnesota with her husband Jamie, and four children, Cooper, Sawyer, Harbor and Wynnie. Kate launched Finding Cooper's Voice from her couch while her now 11-year-old son Cooper was being diagnosed with autism. Back then it was a place to write. Today it is a living, thriving community of people who want to not only advocate for autism, but also make the world a better place for individuals with disabilities and their families. Her first book, Forever Boy, will be released, April 5, 2022.

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