There is no Perfect Life

Nobody’s life is perfect. I think it’s important to say that. In fact, most people’s lives are not easy. But yet social media sets this precedent that every moment must be magical and perfect. And a competition. Holidays. Family photos. Sunday mornings.

I see it a lot specifically in the world of special needs parenting. Whose autism is harder? Because I’m happy most of the time, obviously our autism is easy. That’s one game I absolutely refuse to play. I will not compete or compare or rank out autism against yours.

We have challenges that most couldn’t handle…I just choose not to always talk about them. Mostly, because I’m tired of living in the sad place. I had to get out and that started with me. Every day I have a choice. My happiness is on me and no one else.

So, in true transparency, my toddler Harbie is screaming about Paw Patrol and refuses to stop. There is nothing really wrong. He’s just being a stinker.

We are trapped at home all day because my husband and middle son are at a hockey tournament and I can’t bring my oldest son in the community alone. It makes me angry. I want to be able to go do things but we can’t. That’s our reality.

I’m so pregnant and swollen and a wee bit jealous of my husband because he got to go to our son’s hockey games and I didn’t. I hate missing out.

But we will survive. I anticipate a lot of behaviors and anxiety and even tears today and by bedtime I will be begging for a break but I know there will be glimmers of joy too.

And I will measure my success as a mom and the happiness of my kids by those moments.

I choose one hour of good over 23 of hard.

There is no perfect life. Remind yourself that when you feel angry or bitter or even jealous. And focus on the happy bits. They will carry you through.

And know that my little one just dumped out the dog’s water dish and made an epic mess. Then gave his older brother Cooper a hug and a kiss and I felt my heart burst.

Choose the good. Dig for it if you have too. Even if it’s buried. It’s there.

Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.