A Love Note to My Wife
Autism is hard!
Hard for the diagnosed individual, the siblings, the family and on a marriage.
When we said “I do” we never expected to embark on an autism journey and we definitely didn’t envision the vows “in sickness and in health” would apply to our unborn child.
Autism has challenged our marriage in ways we could never imagine and it has enriched our marriage in ways nothing else could.
I could share some of the many autism moments, experiences, pitfalls, disappointments, lessons, achievements, challenges, and wins that got us to the place we are today but if your child has autism you have enough of those already.
Instead I chose to share how my wife and our marriage helps me survive our life with autism.
I realize that every autism parent is not married but this is MY reality.
To my Wife:
You are my safest place in all the universe.
Sometimes I feel like a cellphone in low battery mode and you recharge my battery so I can go on and stay connected in our life.
You are my confessional.
I share my inner most thoughts and feelings about my autism struggles and you forgive me but more importantly you help me forgive myself and atone for my sins. After, I feel whole and ready to move forward.
You are my anchor and often drop down by way of voice, text, and embrace to let me know you are by my side to stay no matter what.
In your presence after a long and hard autism day, I feel like a beach sunset. Struggling to float above the water while also slowly fading to rest and do it again tomorrow.
It’s NEVER easy, most days it’s ALWAYS hard but together we prevail for him, for our family and for our marriage.
Loving you forever in our reality of “in sickness and in health”,
Me
XO
Written by, Jeanine Gordon
Jeanine Gordon is an oncology nurse who lives in New York City. Her and her wife Ruthy have a 5 year son with autism named Grayson and a 19 year old son in college named Nicolas.
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