My Son is Not Failing; Your System is Failing Him
They said, “your son has the highest needs of anyone in the school”.
And as a mother, what I heard was, “your son is the most challenging child we have”.
Like an almost “admission of irritation” on their part; Or so it felt.
That statement wasn’t necessary.
In a meeting that I called; me, myself, as a concerned parent, as a special needs Mother, those words didn’t need to fall from anyone’s lips. Because it’s a statement made without a practical solution. Unnecessary.
“Your son has the highest needs of anyone in the school.” …
A statement that rings true, yet it rocked me.
It felt as if we were reliving our first days of researching the possibility of an Autism diagnosis all over again. Like we were somehow stranded on a helpless, uneducated island, and starting from scratch looking for resources to help
Alone.
Isolated.
Let’s get something out there right off that bat…Everyone in the world needs a Beckett in their life.
A person like my son, who makes everything brighter, and more colorful. More creative, and without judgment. More exuberant, and more honest.
My autistic, nonverbal, six-year-old son does have a higher level of need.
His instruction is specifically tailored.
We are made aware of the beautiful differences everyday. And we choose to celebrate them. To celebrate him, daily. Because that’s what he deserves.
We know of his needs. We are his biggest advocates.
And to all this I say, so tell me what you can do to help him. Tell me YOUR next step. Tell me where you see that YOU fall short, so that we can pick up those pieces and run to the next available resource.
My beautiful boy is not failing your system, by fitting into his own mold.
Your system is failing him, and others like him, by drawing a line.
Because my son, my Beckett, is a gift. He’s a day-maker. And the inventor of smiles out of tears.
We’ve been told on more than one occasion that “everyone will know just who Beckett is”.
And it couldn’t be more true.
If you work in (or attend) his school, you’ll know his name. You’ll hear his enthusiasm for life radiate through the halls. You’ll see his smile, and watch him skip from place to place.
And you’ll recognize one day, that that little boy was a ray of sunshine in your life, in one form or another.
And you’re right. Everyone will know who Beckett is. In the best ways possible.
Everyone should get the chance to know and love someone just like my Beckett. To be given the opportunity to feel that second-hand, infectious joy.
Your lifted heart and spirit will thank you for it.
Written by, BriAnna Olson
I’m a sarcastic, humor-loving, nap chasing Mama of a preemie miracle little boy, and wife of a Navy Veteran. Our family of three calls Nebraska home, and call ourselves blessed. I have always found comfort in writing and hope to educate and advocate and shine the bright light of love on our world of Autism, through my page, To Infinity & Beyond Words and the You Tube Channel, Midwest Mamas.
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Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.
