My Husband, We are Perfectly Imperfect
My Husband.
I love him with all my heart.
Every fiber of my being.
I have loved him since I was 16 years old.
I don’t really know anything else.
And to be honest, sometimes I don’t even like him.
We don’t see eye to eye on many things.
We fight a lot.
He doesn’t think the the things I think are important matter.
At all.
And frankly, it irritates me.
Can’t he pretend to go along?
He will humor me, but still, not happily.
We have never had a professional family picture.
This was going to be the year of coordinating outfits.
I am on my phone, trying to find them, very unsuccessfully.
He thinks it’s silly, it doesn’t matter.
He could care less.
We are finishing up our breakfast, and he signals the waitress to come to our table. I look up and he gives her a 20 dollar bill and says, “I want to pay for the guy’s breakfast over there”.
I look around perplexed, and I see an elderly gentleman, with a cowboy hat on, sitting alone eating . He goes to tell the waitress, “don’t tell him who paid”.
We get up and walk out, and I check out this guy as I walk by looking for a clue or some kind of recognition.
I smile through my mask and mumble a platitude as we pass by.
We get in the car and I say, “that was nice” and he says,” I overheard him talking to the waitress and he was talking about how he lost his home and his business this year”.
So he paid for his breakfast, no big deal.
While I was busy worrying about matching outfits, oblivious to anything else.
And why?
My daughter with special needs, will not wear them.
I want the picture perfect things, even though I’ll never have them.
We are busy and messy and stressed.
Our house is loud and chaotic.
We are literally the Griswolds.
My daughter will fight me on things because she doesn’t like change.
We can’t have the picture perfect things.
Our life just isn’t set up for that.
And it’s hard to give that up.
It hurts.
I want some kind of normalcy.
Yes, things have progressed over the years.
I know in my heart that is what matters.
But the progress is so painstakingly slow.
My husband did this gesture out of the kindness of his heart.
Not for credit. Not for a picture or a Facebook post.
Sometimes we lose sight of the things that really matter.
It’s all the love you’re surrounded with, and the blessing your life brings you, that means the most.
It’s not trying to have what other families have, or trying to get that perfect looking picture to post.
My daughter is 24 years old, Autisic,and non verbal.
She has willingly watched movies with us for the first time.
She is understanding, engaging and so much more. She is trying so hard to speak.
Today my husband opened my eyes to what matters.
Matching outfits don’t matter.
Love matters.
Family matters.
My daughter’s progress matters and is enough.
Written by, Kimberly McIsaac
Hi, my name is Kim. I am married with four children, one who is a young adult with non verbal autism. We live in Massachusetts and I work full time as a director of a daycare. I have a Facebook page that follows the progress my daughter has made, while making transitions into the scary world of an adult with a disability. She has made incredible progress beginning with words coming at the age of twenty-one. I want to spread awareness of severe autism while giving others hope as we ride this crazy autism roller coaster with all the joy and heartache that comes along with it. You can follow us at https://www.facebook.com/Autismadventureswithalyssa/
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