A Mother’s Hardest Day

Today I witnessed a mother’s hardest day.

Her daughter’s funeral.

She was 14 years old.

She died for no reason. It was one of those things that make no sense and makes you wonder why and how and question everything.

She is my cousin. The woman. Her dad and my dad are brothers.

I did not know her daughter. I need no condolences. And yet I sobbed through the entire funeral.

As a mother to three boys, I felt an ache of the emptiness. And the loss. Hers.

I thought about Brooklyn and stolen moments. Prom, driving a car, graduation, college, marriage, and babies.

And when her mother walked out behind her daughter’s casket, draped in white, I had to look down.

I wasn’t strong enough to look up.

I wanted to shield her from the stares. From being the center of attention on her hardest day.

I know she has many harder days to come.

I know nothing of her grief or the weight that she must feel.

I do know that every mother in that church and reading this now, would give pretty much anything to ease her pain.

On my long drive home to my own babies I found myself thinking.

I need to hug my boys. My kids will never ride in a car without me. Why do teens think they are invincible?Why did this happen? And so on. Almost manic like.

Until I landed on what I should have said to my cousin. If I was brave. If the words weren’t swallowed up by the grief.

I would tell her how brave she is. How her courage to stand up, and walk, and talk amazed me. Because I don’t know if I could be that strong.

She got dressed. She went to her hardest day. She did it.

And I would tell her that one day she will be the hero of someone’s story. All because she kept on living and fighting battles that most of us cannot even imagine.

That is bravery.

Living. After.

Goodbye sweet girl.

Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.