The Whispers of the Past

Throughout our journey to finding your voice I have come to learn the beauty in the simplicity of a whisper.

There were days where I dreamt of your voice.

I’d wake in tears trying to remember every moment, the tone, your facial expressions, but as quickly as the dream came, the memory of it left forever.

My days would be filled with working with you on gaining communication skills, whether they would be by verbal speech or by hand gestures.

I wanted, no I needed you to be able to have a voice.

So many of us take for granted having the ability to speak our minds.

We speak as easily as we breathe air.

But you my darling boy had difficulty with gaining your voice.

This did not mean you couldn’t find your voice, I knew it would happen when you were ready.

Patience was an important lesson to be learned again and again.

Then one day the dream I once had came true, you spoke and I heard your beautiful voice!

And just like that you began gaining verbal communication.

You were soaking up every bit of our speech therapy at home, you’d listen to your brothers, hear others around us in public and start repeating words.

There was no stopping you now!

But as I reflect back, I still am reminded of how far you’ve come over the last three years.

I remember those dreams of hearing your voice.

I remember the tears I shed praying for that dream to become reality.

I remember the roller coaster of emotions that I experienced. They would ebb and flow as if I had a river running through me.

I never want to forget those hard times. I want to remember every minute, every heartache, every “why him?”

Every prayer, every stab to my gut when someone would ask why you wouldn’t speak.

Leon Brown said, “Life does not always give you what you want but if you look closely you will see that it gives you what you need for your growth.”

Our life may not be what I had dreamt all those years ago.

But this life is far sweeter, even more beautiful, and takes my breath away with every passing moment.

I’m beyond grateful for every experience you have given me.

With every new progression, every step forward, you show me how truly beautiful life is.

I see life in a completely different light. A brighter more expansive light that shows me even the tiniest detail that before I would have easily overlooked.

I grew strength from all of the pain and heartache.

I found myself in the struggles and sorrows and began a new path in life.

I will always remember the beginning.

Just like every good story, we need a good strong beginning to push us forward to the middle and the overwhelmingly positive ending.

I will always remember the whispers from the past.

Written by, Sarah Chapman

My name is Sarah Chapman. I have been married for 11 years to my sweet heart Steven, Mom to three beautiful boys Stevie (9), Maycen (6),and Sawyer (4) who happen to all be on the Autism Spectrum.  My husband and I are so beyond blessed to have our boys and I love that we get to view the world through their eyes every day. You can follow us on our website, Sawyer’s Voice and on Facebook.

Interested in writing for Finding Cooper’s Voice? LEARN MORE

Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.