Special Needs Siblings are a Gift to the World
Last night, a cashier at Target brought me to tears.
He was probably about 17 years old, the same age as Liz’s big brother. When we pulled up to the checkout lane, he asked Liz if she wanted a sticker. She shook her head no, as she always does in answer to that question.
He then asked her what she wanted for Christmas. I politely said that she is nonverbal and mentioned a few of the things that she might like for Christmas.
He didn’t miss a beat and went on to ask her if she liked watching movies. She nodded yes and then he asked her if she liked My Little Pony. His questions had switched to ones that she could answer by nodding or shaking her head. This conversation went on for a few more minutes until we were finished checking out and it was time for us to leave.
I paused because I wanted him to know that I had noticed how he spoke to Liz. That my momma heart appreciated it. I said “Thank you for talking to her like that, not many people do”.
He smiled at me and said “Yeah, my sister didn’t talk much either until she was about 9, so I know where you’re coming from. Have a Merry Christmas!”
As we started to walk away, the tears started rolling down behind my mask.
When I got to my car I sat for a moment and thought about why that moment had made me so emotional.
It’s because when special needs parents go out in public, we put up a wall.
A wall to protect our feelings from the people who are unkind.
We don’t really expect people to go out of their way to be kind.
I was caught off guard and my wall had started to crumble just a little.
It’s because I knew just a little of what that young man had experienced growing up as a big brother to a sister with special needs.
Special needs siblings are the absolute best and I had just witnessed proof of that.
It’s because I have a 17 year old son who I know would have done the exact same thing if he were that cashier. He has endured more than any 17yo should have to in their home. He has had experiences ruined and has missed out on others. He has been physically hurt by his sister who, for real, loves him more than life.
I have known all along that all of it was making him a better human and now I truly believed it.
I guess the lesson is to be kind, to not be afraid to speak to someone who is nonverbal and to appreciate the special needs siblings.
They are a gift to the world.
Written by, Dr. Carrie Kremer
My name is Dr. Carrie Kremer. My husband and I are both physicians and we have 3 children ages 13, 15 and 17. On our Facebook page Lessons from Liz, I write about our youngest daughter Liz. I enjoy sharing the lessons that we are learning from her unique outlook on life! If you have a special needs child or you just have days when you struggle to see the bright side, I would love for you to follow our journey on Facebook at Lessons from Liz. https://www.facebook.com/lessonsfromliz/.
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