We are the Lucky Ones
This morning, after all the presents were opened, and the egg bake was in the oven, I sat down to drink my luke warm coffee and peek at social media.
I came across a message from a women I didn’t know. She sent me a poem by Erma Bombeck. One I had read many times before. But I found myself blubbering into my coffee anyways. Huge crocodile tears running down my face.
Her words came to me exactly when I needed them. And they went straight to my heart.
My two younger boys were having a Nerf War and didn’t notice my state as they ran by.
But Cooper, my oldest, the one without words, the one they call special, he noticed. He got my attention and pressed play on his iPad. A babies cry screamed from the iPad.
He saw my tears. And acknowledged them. My buddy. The one who made me the person I am.
The Special Mother by Erma Bombeck Did you ever wonder how mothers of disabled children were chosen? Somehow I visualize God hovering over the earth selecting his instruments of propagation with great care and deliberation.
As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger. “This one gets a daughter. The Patron saint will be Cecelia” “This one gets twins. The Patron saint will be Matthew” “This one gets a son. The Patron saint…..give her Gerard. He’s used to profanity”
Finally He passes a name to an angel and smiles. “Give her a disabled child”. The angel is curious. “Why this one God? She’s so happy” “Exactly,” smiles God. “Could I give a disabled child to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel!” “But has she patience?” asks the angel. “I don’t want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of sorrow and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she’ll handle it.
I watched her today, she has that feeling of self and independence that is so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I’m going to give her has his own world. She has to make him live in her world and that’s not going to be easy.” “But Lord, I don’t think she even believes in you” God smiles, “No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect – she has just enough selfishness” The angel gasps – “Selfishness? is that a virtue?” God nods. “If she can’t separate herself from the child occasionally she won’t survive. Yes here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect.
She doesn’t realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a ‘spoken word’. She will never consider any ‘step’ ordinary. When her child says “Momma” for the first time she will be present at a miracle and will know it. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see…ignorance, cruelty and prejudice…and allow her to rise above them.
She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as if she is here by my side” “And what about her Patron saint?” asks the angel, his pen poised in mid air. God smiles “A mirror will suffice” – Erma Bombeck
Moms and dads, we will see ignorance, cruelty and prejudice…and we will rise above.
We will be envied. We will take nothing for granted.
And we will create a world for our children to live in.
Truer words have never been written.
Sending all of my love, respect, hope, and gratitude to the parents I get to walk alongside in this life. It’s an honor to have you here with me.
We will change the world for these kids. We will make it a better place. I truly believe that.
We are the lucky ones.
Merry Christmas.
Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.
