Some Hope for Christmas

Holidays have always been big in my family. Christmas growing up was always so busy.

You see, my parents were divorced. I was always on the go…being with one parent Christmas Eve, the other on Christmas Day, and seeing extended family as we celebrated.

I always dreamed of the day I’d have my own family and we could sit and enjoy the holiday, decorating the tree.

Being in one place for the whole holiday.

Fast forward to now, and my dream Christmas may still never happen.

Not because we aren’t together as a whole, but because my son is Autistic.

We decorated a tree the first few years. We wrapped presents. We even got to stay in our home, not having to travel.

But my son has yet to show interest.

Last year we didn’t even put up a tree. We didn’t wrap presents. We simply set up my son’s swing and placed the other toys on the swing for him to see.

I really thought it would be the year he showed interest in his presents.

I was wrong.

I even told myself I wasn’t going to bother with a tree this year, either.

But while trying to clean out our storage room, and decluttering our living room, my husband brought in the Christmas tree.

He proceeded to set up the tree and plug in the lights only to figure out some of the lights were out. We tried replacing but that didn’t seem to do the trick. So we figured it’s because it’s old, and it was time to buy a new tree.

We then got ready, went to town to grab a bite and purchase a new tree before we had to pick Graham up from school.

After picking Graham up, we headed home to get ready for home therapy and to set up our new tree.

Our plan went south fast.

As we opened the front door, our old tree was still up. Graham stopped; he wouldn’t enter.

He finally grabbed my hand, shaking, and proceeded to stay as far away from the tree as possible until we made it to his room.

Our ABA therapist arrived, and we once again tried to head into the living room to attempt play time.

Nope.

He wasn’t having it. He kept pulling us back to his room.

I told my husband to take the tree down…guess we won’t have one again. I kind of had a feeling…but still I was bummed.

I was trying not to cry thinking how once again my son didn’t care for Christmas. It was going to be just another normal day in our house, so I thought.

A few minutes later, my son was on his break time and entered the kitchen where my husband had placed the tree and ornaments. He grabbed a few of the ball ornaments, and was stimming loudly.

Do we try putting the tree up again?

So once again, my husband dragged the tree and decor into the living room. As he worked to put the tree together our son said, “wow”.

I couldn’t believe it.

Not thirty minutes prior, he was terrified and wouldn’t enter the house because of the tree.

He just kept watching Daddy as he put up the tree, jumping, flapping his arms and screaming.

The real kicker is when Shane put Graham’s Lightning McQueen ornament on the tree. Graham wouldn’t leave the tree alone after that. He keeps managing to take off with it without us realizing it.

In a way, I guess you could say my Grinch heart is growing…

Because for once, we have some hope for Christmas.

Written by, Courtney Mills

My name is Courtney Mills. I’m am thirty-two years old. My husband and I have the privilege of raising one of the sweetest boys on the planet. His name is Graham. In 2019 Graham was diagnosed with severe autism. In that moment, we realized just how lost we were. No information, little help, and a whole lot of anxiety about the future. I began learning, going to seminars, asking questions, and attending conferences. Advocating by relaying our story and experiences to others. We are lost in the woods, but every day we make progress finding ourselves and the path. Guiding Graham’s Way is a journey and adventure, driven by the desire to help others. I have decided to share my story, knowledge, and to support others in theirs. You can follow us on Facebook at Guiding Graham’s Way.

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Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.