The Year We Were Normal
2020 has been a hard year for most. Filled with uncertainty, fear, confusion, sleepless nights, isolation and more.
We call that a Tuesday in our house.
Truthfully not too much has changed in 2020 for us. Yes, we have less appointments and therapies, but the fear, the isolation, the constant anxiety. That’s every day for us.
Now there is talk of an end, a vaccine, a possible return to normal. People of course are debating it but the end goal of all of this, is a return to normal. Dinner with friends, weekend getaways. Play dates, school and all the sports.
And here I sit, selfishly wishing the pandemic would go on a bit longer. Not the deaths and sickness of course. I just like knowing for the first time in nine years, we aren’t alone.
Everyone is feeling isolated, scared and anxious. No one can go have fun with their friends and post pictures for me to see. There aren’t groups of kids hanging out, without my kid.
For the first time, our normal is everyone’s normal.
….And it really feels good. There I said it.
Because all too soon, the world will be back to normal and we will be alone again. I will watch other’s lives on social media, while sitting on my couch. I have always joked that we don’t like being around people but the truth is we can’t most of the time, so why not make it my choice?
Friends will sign up their kids for sports, music, and camps. And I will research the latest breakthroughs in anxiety medication. I will watch the posts of how big everyone’s kids are getting, the posts longing for a bit longer of their childhood.
Meanwhile at our house it will still be Curious George and Daniel Tiger, forever frozen in time so to speak.
Friends will get together on a Friday night for a few drinks. Even if we get invited, we will decline because exhaustion wins and the couch is where it’s at.
All the vacations will start again, post after post of people enjoying themselves in all kinds of amazing locations. I will watch from the sidelines while trying to figure out the logistics of a 4 hour trip…can it be done?
Before we know it, Covid-19 will be a distant memory and the world will be turning like it once was.
And we will watch from the window as we have always done.
Don’t get me wrong, I have a wonderful, blessed life. I just wish for those other things too. And I’m allowed to. I can love my life and be jealous of the ones others live so effortlessly.
I could start planning for all the catch up coming. The extra appointments needed to claw back skills we have lost. I could look into new things to try now so we aren’t so behind when the world starts turning again….but I’m tired.
So instead, I’m going to cherish these last few months where we aren’t the odd ones out. Where my complaints aren’t brushed off with simple answers but instead are met with sincerity and solidarity.
I’m going to soak in these last few moments of normalcy before we go back to being the minority.
Written by, Noelle Lee
My Name is Noelle. I am a mom of 2 kids and a pug. My youngest has autism. In my free time (ha!) I enjoy writing, baking and Netflix.
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