Can You Feel My Vibe?

My son, who was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), was also diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). As part of his profile, he has a heightened sensitivity to light, sound and the energy of his environment.

To navigate loud places, or areas that have unexpected sounds, has been challenging.

We found bright lights could be over stimulating, making movie theatres, fairs and arcades unpredictable.

He would become so revved up, literally bouncing from one thing to another, and his impulse control was non-existent.

He also became disregulated by itchy tags, which he would become hyper-focused on, until he ripped the tag or cut it off entirely. If he found a pull or small hole in a shirt or pair of pants, his fingers would work at it all day long, making it into a large hole by the time he arrived home from
school.

In learning about Jack’s specific sensory processes, I became aware he was prone to having intense experiences through his senses, and conversely, there were other sensory experiences where he needed more stimulation, because his body didn’t process senses in the same way a typically developing child did.

On the flipside of the tag issue, Jack craved the input of deep pressure.

He walked with pounding feet and loved nothing more than to crash his body into things; usually my hip while I was making dinner.

It was a curious thing, being his mother and observing how his body and emotions were impacted by the constant feedback of his environment.

What was even more curious, was the intensity with which he “feels” others’ energy.

If I was having a tough moment or was short with him, he would become irritable.

Even if my frustration wasn’t directed at him, he would feel “a disturbance in the force.”

When I was fearful, he intuitively knew it.

It was as if he could feel what was going on inside of me, and his actions played off of mine.

When his energy level spiked, he became unfocused and easily frustrated.

If Jack couldn’t access tools to self-regulate, he spun out of control.

Jack was a barometer. His behavior was directly linked to what he was experiencing in his environment, whether it was a loud sound, a flashing light show or his mother’s anxiety.

Once I realized how sensitive he was, not only to his environment, but to the energy of the people in it, I could make adjustments, and even anticipate a potential trigger.

I learned how to keep my own emotions in check, to take a breath and respond instead of reacting to whatever was impacting me.

I became mindful of processing my stressors and not allowing them to
trickle into other parts of my day, particularly when I was interacting with my son.

I began to use the slogan, “how important is it?” to determine whether a situation even warranted my time and attention.

Having my own toolbox in place was not only therapeutic for me, it eliminated some of the energy I had been unknowingly transmitting to my son.

Jack’s sensitivity was an asset, a super-skill if you will.

Because Jack’s senses were skewed, he noted aspects that I didn’t. Although he reacted to these energies, I also believe if he could sense them, then so could other people; even in subtle ways.

Jack has made me accountable for the energy, attitude and perspectives I bring into my world. Throughout the years, Jack has gained strategies for self-regulation and his reactions toward sensory stimulation has declined, but the lessons he taught me have remained.

I am grateful I can see the gifts among the chaos.

Most often they come in hindsight, as I look over my shoulder, I pick them up and carry them with me. What a beautiful way to see the world; by having a multi-faceted lens to view it through.

Written by, Nicole Hendrick Donovan

Nicole Hendrick Donovan is a writer, reflective storyteller, speaker and teacher. Nicole is the author of A Life Suspended: A Mother and Son’s Story of Autism, Extinction Bursts, and Living a Resilient Life. In addition, she is a contributor for The Mighty, an online magazine for people with disabilities. You can connect with Nicole on Instagram @nhdwrites and Facebook at Nicole Hendrick Donovan. To buy her book or read her work, visit nhdwrites.com.

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