The Special Needs Sibling Shield

Today we ventured to Walmart for a few things. Eggs. Milk. Nerf gun bullets. And 2 pieces of paper. The essentials. Obviously.

Outings as a family are still relatively new for us. And while they are far from perfect, they are real.

See, we have a kid who is just learning about waiting and buying and walking and all the parts of the world.

While our son Cooper is making amazing progress at stores and by amazing I mean huge leaps and bounds…so much of it is still hard for him.

In fact, after, I felt a bit like I’d ran a marathon while going two rounds. And I didn’t win. But I did finish.

Our struggles were plentiful.

Not to mention the sweet cashier who was brand new and didn’t know how to work the register, the man in front of us whose debit card didn’t work, the manager who saw a coachable moment, and the dozens of eyes burning holes in our back as we helped our son off the floor.

There were whispers. Lots of them. I saw a head shake. A glare. A look of pity. I saw judgement. And that’s ok. People are human. But so are we. And so is Cooper.

He did his best. He tried his hardest. And after, as we talked through his struggles, he took deep breaths, nonverbally telling me he will do better next time.

And I believe him. He will. Because he’s figuring out a world that doesn’t make sense to him. This is our normal. This is his autism.

But something extraordinary happened too. During his hard, I watched his younger brother round the corner, see Cooper and I, and almost run to him and immediately drop to his knees.

‘Buddy, I’m here. How can I help?’

A saying I use daily. A hundred times. How can I help? What a powerful question.

This kid. A brother. An advocate. A helper.

He amazed me today.

He saw hard and walked into it with one purpose…to help his brother. He had his shield on today, the one all special needs parents have to deflect the bad from our kids. It never crossed my mind that the siblings get one too.

I’ve never been so proud of him.

These two. Together they are going to change the world. I just know it.

Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.

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Kate Swenson

Kate Swenson lives in Minnesota with her husband Jamie, and four children, Cooper, Sawyer, Harbor and Wynnie. Kate launched Finding Cooper's Voice from her couch while her now 11-year-old son Cooper was being diagnosed with autism. Back then it was a place to write. Today it is a living, thriving community of people who want to not only advocate for autism, but also make the world a better place for individuals with disabilities and their families. Her first book, Forever Boy, will be released, April 5, 2022.

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