Both of My Children Are Normal

“Is your daughter normal?” the nurse asked.

“So far she’s developing typically,” I replied,

The conversation moved on but I couldn’t shake the word “normal.” The word swirled around my head and gave me a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Normal.

Compared to what?

I looked down at Everett, my autistic two year old, watching Daniel Tiger on his kindle , wondering if he’d heard and then wondering if he understood.

If he did, how did it make him feel?

As a physician assistant, and medically speaking, the concept of “normal” and “abnormal” when referring to lab values or cells, for example doesn’t bother me.

But people?

There is no one way to be “normal.”

We are diverse beings.

And autism?

It affects one in fifty-four people.

One in thirty-three boys.

It’s common and the incidence is only increasing.

Autistic people are arguably one of the largest minority groups in the world and growing.

It’s time we all begin viewing autism as a form of neurological diversity.

No two people are alike.

No two brains are like.

No two autistic people are alike.

No two autistic brains are alike.

And I do not ever want Everett to feel badly or less than for being autistic.

And the implication of the words “normal vs not normal” when referring to human beings feels a lot like “more or less than” or “good or less good.”

Everett is just Everett.

Isla is just Isla.

They’re both “normal” people just as they are.

Written by, Katie Tichenor

I am an OBGYN physician assistant turned stay at home mom to two children, one with autism. To combat the isolation and loneliness I felt as a new mom I began sharing glimpses of our life on instagram. Later, my son was diagnosed with autism and I found new purpose in sharing the joy and struggles of parenting a special needs child. I share our daily life on instagram www.instagram.com/@katiepluscoffee and occasionally update my mostly neglected blog www.katiepluscoffee.com.

Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter. Interested in writing for Finding Cooper’s Voice? LEARN MORE.

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