You Are His Home
Sawyer, you’ve asked me a lot of questions over the years about your older brother.
You’ve asked me why he doesn’t talk.
You’ve asked me if you are the older brother.
You’ve asked me if you could have autism too, like him.
You’ve asked me who is going to care for him when mommy and daddy are gone.
And recently, you asked me if Cooper knew you were his brother.
I told you of course. I said without a doubt he knows. But I know you still wonder. You want more from him. And you want to understand.
Well, I’m writing this down for you so when you are older you can read it. If you ever have a doubt, here is your proof.
Last night we were all at Grandma’s house for dinner. You decided to have a sleepover at your cousin’s house and left earlier than the rest of us.
Dad, Cooper, Harbor and I piled in the car shortly after to head home. Once buckled in, and the car went into reverse, Cooper started panicking.
‘SSS-AH-W-ER’ he repeated pointing to the house. We explained to him that you were having a sleepover and wouldn’t be coming home tonight. I watched him process and he seemed okay with that answer.
But as bedtime approached, he refused to go to bed. He asked for you a dozen times buddy. He said your name. He pointed to your picture. When it came time to go upstairs, he wouldn’t budge until your dad and I went with him. He held both our hands as we climbed up the stairs.
And he slept in between us. Your brother is 9-years-old, closer to 10, and he has never needed us at night like that. Because he’s always had you.
I’m not telling you this to make you sad. You need to keep going and doing things. You need to live your life and have sleepovers. We will never stop encouraging that.
I’m telling you this because you are his home. You are what he thinks of when he thinks of comfort. I never want you to doubt his love for you Sawyer.
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