Thinking in ‘Nevers’

When my son was diagnosed with autism six years ago, I began to think in nevers.

Now as a typically very positive person, it felt strange. It felt unlike me.

But, that’s how the people around us spoke about autism.

Your son will never talk. He will never ride a bike. He will never make a friend.

I could go on an on.

He will never have a normal life. He will never live independently.

Never, never, never.

With each evaluation for services, benefits and placements, the nevers stacked up.

Talk about sad. That way of thinking messed me up big time. And I’m pretty sure it still happens a lot today with newly diagnosed children.

I no longer think that way. Now I look at all the things he can do. And may do. And hopefully will do. And if something does end up being a never, well, that’s ok too. He has limits and acknowledging those are healthy.

But the possibilities far outweigh the nevers.

Yesterday he wore a mask for 7 seconds. Today he did for closer to 30 seconds.

Yesterday he told me his grandma was here, unprompted.

Last week he started hugging his brothers daily. And giving them sloppy kisses on their foreheads.

Last weekend he tried three new foods.

This morning he buckled his seatbelt ALL ON HIS OWN!

Switch your way of thinking. It will change everything.

PS. Look at those smiling eyes!

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