The Many Faces Of Anxiety

In this house anxiety is always present. It is attached to a little boy with blonde hair and hazel eyes.

Some days it may hide, not showing on a cute picture, but on most days, it follows him like a shadow, waiting to remind us that it indeed rules.

Today, anxiety is one sleep until the train museum.

Yesterday, it was two sleeps. A week ago, seven sleeps.

Anxiety is the calendar in our kitchen.

TRAIN MUSEUM written in big blue letters. We talk about it a hundred times a day.

Most conversations consisting of a finger pointing in the air, coordinating with how many sleeps left, and me assuring him that the day will come.

Anxiety is excitement, worry, fear, anger, and joy all mixed into one. Not allowing us to pull out the good emotions. Instead they are woven together. With joy we get anger. With excitement we get worry.

Anxiety is a little boy grabbing his shoes a dozen times a day and waiting by the door.

Anxiety is short-term memory loss.

Anxiety is me talking him off the ledge more times in a day than I can count.

Anxiety is knowing I can help him with it, and lessen its strength, but also knowing I can’t remove it entirely.

Anxiety is a beast.

Anxiety is not the boy.

Anxiety has stolen joy from our lives.

Anxiety is not his fault.

Anxiety may never go away.

Anxiety deflates me.

Tomorrow we will go to the train museum. The hours leading up could go any way. Up. Down. Sideways. The visit will be the same.

All I can do is everything in my power to make it a good day for him. And pull out the joy and the good parts.

And after. We will start again.

7 sleeps.

And loving him through.

Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.