I Forgot About Autism
Hey autism.
We forgot about you for a minute.
Here we were just living life. Going about our days like “normal” people.
Til’ this morning.
I had a need for a good coffee and the girls wanted a milkshake so because things have been so “zen” around here, my silly guard was down and we went to the dome.
As if we could just do the”get in the car” and “go sit in a restaurant” thing.
I forgot.
We got out of the car and immediately Rory bolted.
I ran and got him, the girls ran with me.
He did not want to go in.
There was no good vibe about the dome, he was not feeling it.
I held him, we walked in.
He throws his arms around and the screams start.
The girls worrying that I would say, forget it.
They promptly ask me, “Mum please can we get our milkshakes?”
As we order, Rory is still hitting.
The girl asks me “dine in…” Then looks at Rory, “or take away?”
She seemed hopeful.
“Make them take away cups but we are dining in…well we will try to.”
She does a half smirk.
We sit. Rory throws himself to the floor.
I didn’t have his book. I hate myself for forgetting it.
So we leave the second our drinks come.
That sort of set the tone for the day then.
I can’t do anything right today. He isn’t happy at all with me today.
I took him through “snow whites forest” as my girls like to call it. He usually loves waddling through there.
But not today. Today it’s a shoulder ride kind of day.
Today’s one of those days when I worry about three years from now, thirteen years , thirty years.
It’s only 9:30 am. There’s still time for the day to turn around, he may settle down again soon.
But it’s only 9:30 am and this Mumma is already minutes away from having a big cry.
Anxiety is riddling me for what’s probably on it’s way today…meltdown.
I feel like crap.
I know he’s frustrated with everything today. He’s back from his dad’s, there is that adjusting period for all kids when they go to and from homes, it must be so confusing for him.
So, I forgot about our Autism for a minute…but it’s there.
Always there. For good days and bad days.
Sorry Rory.
I’ll try “Macca’s” fries, it’s worth a try. All we can do is keep trying right?
Written by, Lucy Watts
You can follow Lucy on her Facebook page at Lucy Watts – Life & Autism.
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