Gaining Perspective in my Life
Our lives are so narrow in experience. We understand most clearly the circumstances we are born into and the experiences we acquire over our lifetime. Yet there are so many variables that can shape our lives.
Immigrant status, skin color, religion, socio-economic status, ethnicity, gender orientation, disability, addiction, abuse—we are shaped by these factors.
Prior to being a mom, I identified as a middle class American Jewish woman. I experienced some religious discrimination in school which left me with a desire to explore diversity. I wanted to make room in my mind for differences, with the hope of helping others make room in their minds as well.
I studied History and Anthropology in college. I learned about Mayan Kings, race riots, and Nazi scientists. I traveled as much as possible and and went on to work in documentary and non profit video production. Projects that allowed me to learn about different perspectives and experiences were most rewarding.
Little did I know that the experience that would have the most impact on me was being a mom to my son Gabe. I found that joining the motherhood club crossed all cultural barriers and I remember thinking to myself that this is pretty special.
Motherhood on its own is life altering. Giving so much of myself to another person everyday is extremely humbling. Understanding what women before me have gone through to raise their children is eye-opening.
Prior to becoming a mom, I never gave much thought to enduring sleepless nights or bouncing a baby for hours on end so he would stay calm.
And then autism. A whole new experience. A different culture, so to speak.
A new language, a new normal. Labels like “special needs mom” and “advocate” are among the additional identities I have taken on. And these labels are meaningful and important. They represent my unique experience as a mom and my dedication to helping my son in any way I can.
Five years later, the dust has settled, and I realize I’ve gained something significant from this experience.
I’ve always loved learning about different perspectives. But now I have gained a new perspective.
I experience disability now through my son. I carry it inside of me along with the relatives that courageously arrived in America before WWII, and my grandmother who never made it to art school because she didn’t have a choice.
I carry disability within me along with the entrepreneurial spirit and hard work of my dad and his brothers. It sits somewhere in between my youthful desire to explore and embrace diversity and my persistent quest to guide my son to a place where he shines in all his glory.
We all carry our own unique circumstances with us everyday. They make up who we are. I am richer in my experiences today because my son is part of me.
Written by Debbie Arnold Brown
Debbie lives with her husband and seven year old son in Philadelphia. Follow her on Facebook at Especially Needed Curations, where she shares more of her personal experiences, offers suggestions and practical tips on family inclusion, and creates curated gift boxes for special needs children and their caregivers.
Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.
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