What Autism Has Taught Me

I never planned on having a child with a disability. I planned my education and career around helping others through things like this, never dreaming in my wildest dreams it would personally affect me.

But…. I wouldn’t trade Jackson or his diagnosis for anything in this world. When you hear people who have children with disabilities say their child is their greatest teacher in life, believe them.

They have this beautiful way of helping us see life for what it should be. Simple. Purposeful. Full of wonder and of lots of dreaming.

Through this devastating time of all that COVID-19 has brought, Jackson has been my rock. I anticipated horror in our home with the inconsistency and transition this time would bring us. I hoped for the best, but prepared myself for the worst.

While life hasn’t been butterflies and rainbows, he’s rolling with it. There have been lots of tears over missing his teachers, therapist, and friends. For sure. Tears over his me being his new teacher and my lack of implementing the brutal consistency his soul thrives on. But we’ve worked through it.

What’s surprised me is the way he’s using the coping skills he’s learned over the years to self-talk his way through it all. He’s asked more executive-type thinking questions than he ever has.

He tells me he needs to be by himself when he knows he needs to calm down. Which really means he wants me to stay close while he fights through the tears and sorts things out in his mind. And then I say something funny when I can tell he’s coming down from it and he’s better.

In years before, we struggled through one to two hour meltdowns, not having the slightest clue about what he needed.

It’s not something I understood about him for years. That he needs time. He needs to feel safe. And loved. No matter how ugly his emotions get. No matter how hard he pushes us away.

As his communication has progressed, he’s been able to teach me. I’ve learned about the lack of processing and communicating and control he has when he hits his hard moments he can’t make sense of things right away. He processes differently. He needs safety. And time. I know that now.

This is mind-boggling and miraculous to me the way he’s self-soothing his way through rolling with the punches. It may still be a honeymoon phase. Things might hit the fan in the next week two. But for now, we’re dealing.

I’m trying to maintain a sense of calm and happiness in my heart and in my presence. When in my soul, that’s so far from how I’m feeling.

I want to be at school with the kids. I want him to be finishing 1st grade, receiving his services, and avoiding regression at all cost. But that’s just not reality right now.

So, I’ll follow my greatest teacher in all that is life’s lead. I’ll self-soothe. I’ll be the best teacher and learner through this time that I can be. We’ll get outside every chance we get and reap every benefit nature has to offer. Even when I don’t feel like it. Even when I know there’s so much else to do.

He lifts me up. He inspires me. He motivates me to do better and to do more and to try harder. He reminds me to pray for the people who need our prayers even when I forget. Anytime I mention someone who’s ill. Or someone who’s sad, he tells me it’s okay. We just need to pray. He’s so right.

If you don’t know a child with autism or any disability? Find one. They’ll teach you more about life than you know. While they often lack focus on education and struggle socially, they rarely lack focus in things that are simplistic and of importance.

And if you let them in. And really learn about them and who they are and how they think and what they love. I promise. Your life will become fuller and different and better because of them.

They are 1 in 54 now. All over your community. Please let them in. Give them a shot.

I promise you’ll be better and feel differently about life. The way you love. The way you see and treat people. Because you know them.

Written by, Lynn Reasons

Lynn is married to her best friend, Derek. She’s a school nurse at her son’s school and together, she and her husband raise their sweet, incredible seven year old son, Jackson. Lynn recently started blogging and you can follow her at Navigating Jackson’s Journey.

Photos courtesy of Jessica Renee Photography

Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.