Don’t Take Mom For Granted
I’ve heard it so many times. “Just wait until they start talking, you’ll just want them to be quiet”. I see memes like this and while I know it’s said in good humor, it’s also a little heartbreaking.
Not everyone hears “mom”.
Some children are deaf, non-communicative, non-verbal…parents lose children every day, and would give their whole life just to hear “mom” one more time.
My daughter doesn’t have a name for me. The last time she said “mama” she was 10 months old. In fact, neither of my kids call me mom. They don’t call me anything.
Hazel struggles to mimic words and “mom” just hasn’t been important enough to try yet.
Tucker is severely delayed in speech. He verbally stims, but not a single word. I make a game of it because he says “da-da-da-da” and I’ll repeat back “ma-ma-ma”.
I know he won’t say what I say but part of me needs to make light of it.
When people hear that my kids are non-verbal, they seem to think it means they are shy or won’t talk to strangers. They tell me it’s only a matter of time before they both start talking my ears off. The one that stings the most is “you’re lucky! I can’t get my kids to shut up!”
Every time I hear a snide remark about children talking too much I remind people that their child’s voice is a gift. I had to wait 3 years before Hazel said her first words. “More, chips, please”. I’m still waiting on Tucker and praying that it will only take 3 years for him.
I’m a mom, but the only person who calls me mom is my husband, when he asks something for our kids.
It doesn’t make me any less a mom, but I do miss out on a lot of the “normal mom” things. The incessant questions, braiding hair, talking about dinosaurs, hearing my title called out every few minutes for 12 hours a day.
If I had one thing to say to parents of verbal, neuro-typical children, don’t take “mom” for granted.
Written by, Sarah Foltz
My name is Sarah. I am mom to Hazel, a bright, peppery redhead who just happens to be severely autistic, and Tucker, an awesome little heart warrior prince, with the worlds most beautiful eyes. I have a page, Life With •my• Kids, https://www.facebook.com/thelifewithmykids/ where I get real about autism, congenital heart defects and the delays and beauty associated with both.
Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, join our community, Coop’s Troops, for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.
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