The Fear We Feel
This is the most fearful time of my life. A deadly virus spreading quickly throughout the country will strike fear in most people.
However there is another fear I feel deep down in my soul. A fear most of us special needs parents are feeling during this uncertain time. The fear of regression!
The fear of our amazing kids losing skills they worked so hard to master. Social skills, academic skills, social/emotional skills, they all matter. This fear haunts me and keeps me up at night.
I am doing all I can to work through these feelings. I am connecting with other autism moms on social media. I am seeing my therapist over video chat, and venting to my husband about it.
But maybe this fear has a purpose. Maybe this fear can lead us to positive outcomes.
Maybe this fear can catapult us through these difficult times and inspire us to do something we never thought possible. Inspire us to put on our “teacher” hat and teach our child a new game or craft. Inspire us to take our kids on a scavenger hunt around the neighborhood, soaking in the fresh air together. Inspire us to see the beauty in this uninterrupted time we have with our children that we will never get back.
This fear may make us feel inadequate as parents. It may trick us into believing that we are failing our children, or not doing enough during this pandemic. But in reality we were our children’s first teacher, first therapist, and first love.
Our fears come from the fierce love we feel for our children. A love that is unconditional. A love that makes us advocate and fight for their success in any way we possibly can. The success will come. Even if regression does happen it is mostly temporary.
One day our children will wake up and head back to school and back to therapy. They will start their normal routines again, and life will be busy and hectic. They will work hard and learn new skills. This difficult time will become a distant memory.
One day we will get back to where we were before this all happened and the thought of that eases my fears and brings me comfort.
Our children will be just fine, because they have us and we are all in this together.
Written by, Caitlyn Viviano
Caitlyn is a military wife and mother of three. She lives in South Carolina with her husband, daughter Chloe, and sons Daniel and Levi. She is a former counselor turned SAHM who enjoys blogging at www.sassyonthespectrum.com/CV, reading, and drinking lots of coffee.
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