The Things I Took for Granted
There is this saying, and I’m sure most of you in the autism world have heard of it.
Something to the effect that “special needs parents have a child in the newborn phase for many, many years longer than most.”
I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately.
How it’s pretty crushing, but it also couldn’t be more true.
My son Noah still cries and screams to communicate most of the time.
The only consistent words I would say he has are — “Pete” when he sees him on Mickey Mouse. “doo doo” for Dad or Mom, and it’s usually just to get us to move from room to room while he’s on his iPad.
And “ah ah” which I’m not really sure what that one is, he seems to use it for a lot of things.
That’s kinda heartbreaking if you really think about it. All of it.
Imagine not being able to tell someone you’re thirsty or hungry. Or that you’re cold or something hurts. Imagine having all these desires, wants and needs, just like everybody else, but no way of expressing them.
I can’t imagine.
Noah still isn’t potty trained, doesn’t use utensils, and can’t really do anything independently.
We do it all hand over hand. And this isn’t me complaining or being negative.
This is just our reality.
Which at almost five years old, I do still feel I’m caring for a newborn in many ways. I get it now.
And I know with time and age it will get better, it always does and things already have…and yet they haven’t.
But this was something I took for granted. Being able. Having a voice. Communicating.
I now know what a gift these things are. A blessing not everyone is so fortunate to have.
I just thought everyone talked. And everyone grew up. But that’s not entirely true.
And I know now some of us take care of our babies (gladly) for a very, very long time.
And maybe there is something beautiful in that. I don’t know, I guess only time will tell.
That’s something we just have to find out along the way. But I have a pretty good feeling it’s going to be okay.
No matter how long we may face these challenges.
Written by, Danielle Mager
Danielle is the proud mama to Noah, a handsome, silly, strong willed, almost three year old who also happens to be on the spectrum. Danielle blogs at story of noahism and shares their journey on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/storyofnoahism/.
Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.
