I’m Not A Failure
I have to get this off my chest.
This is a temporary feeling.
All week…
LIKE ALL WEEK.
I’ve felt like a failure.
Even though all week I’ve…
“taken care of my daughter”
“my bills are paid”
“my house has food and clean clothes”
and although “it’s not perfectly clean”, it’s okay enough to wait until my day off (tomorrow) to do the bigger chores.
I’ve helped Gretchen, she pulled up her pajamas pants tonight.
That might not seem like a big deal to most parents, but I arrived at 315pm to pick my daughter up, at 350pm we left the center after trying to convince her to pull up her own pants.
Which she finally did, when me the therapist and the senior therapist walked away.
Than I tried one time and one time only at bedtime, she ran to the room and I followed and guess what, she pulled them up.
So… I’m not a failure.
But I do feel like I’m failing others.
I feel like everyone expects so much out of me that I get caught up in what they might think of me and I worry that they see me as lazy or unmotivated.
When that’s not even the case.
I didn’t get the job I wanted.
And I’m telling myself it’s part of God’s plan, that that particular job wasn’t meant to be, but I failed at getting that job.
And ever since I actually got the call, I’ve been stuck in failure mode.
I’m NOT a FAILURE.
But I feel like a failure.
THIS IS ANXIETY.
Written by, Dana Crosley
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