As Moms, We are only One Person

I read something the other day. It said that it appears that I neglect my middle son. I don’t share him enough.

I wasn’t angry.

Although it was Christmas Eve so I did side eye her timing.

People say lots of things and don’t really fully understand that I share mere minutes of our day. Sometimes seconds.

In fact, it got me thinking about motherhood. And time. Not love because we all know we love our children equally.

Although I tend to increase mine a hair towards the ones who sleep the best. But I’ll deny that to my grave.

Anyhow, people assume that my older son takes up most of my time because he has unique needs. Sometimes that’s true. Sometimes it’s not. And also, not so true anymore.

Most days now he’s my easiest child! Funny how that happened.

People also don’t understand that my middle son is no longer my shadow. He has friends and sports and play dates and spends his days catching frogs and sliding down hills. He even dares to speak about girlfriends.

When we are home, I send him out into the world to experience it. And before you read too far into that, I still feed him and bathe him and help him with his reading homework and tuck him in at night.

I haven’t completely written him off for abandoning me.

The other two, well, they are my little shadows. The older one is 9. And I am his person. Where I am, he is.

He follows me throughout the house needing to see me at all times. I help him communicate and organize his treasures and decipher what snack he is requesting.

And the baby, well, he’s new around here and still seems to need a lot of attention.

That’s how my time is spread these days.

The truth is that while the heart grows exponentially with the arrival of every child, and the love is split equally between each one, a mother’s time is not.

It ebbs and flows.

Right now, my baby is sick. Really sick. He is taking up most of my time while the other two have a hay day on their iPads.

A few minutes ago, my older one needed help eating a sandwich. See, eating sandwiches are a goal of ours. So, I sat with him, bite after bite, talking him through. It took about 30 minutes.

The other two tore apart my pantry and played hide and seek.

After, I helped the middle one dress for hockey. Now he’s gone for a few hours.

As moms, we are only one person. We have to divide up our 24 hours a day just like everyone else.

We all have mom guilt. You show me a mom and I guarantee she feels guilty for something.

We feel that way because we want to be that perfect person for our children, and give them everything. But the truth is, we can’t always.

Go easy on yourself. As long as you are feeding them, bathing them, hugging them, telling them good job now and again, and giving them a green food, you are doing a great job.

I promise all of your children think you are Super Woman.

And for the lady who thinks my middle little is neglected, well he forces his way onto my lap every morning immediately after he wakes up and for a few minutes before bed. That’s his time.

Here. I snapped a photo of it for you. I think he’s going to make it through.

And for anyone who wonders who the sleeper is in the family….you’re looking at him.

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Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.