Autism is Joy. So Much Joy.
Autism.
It’s not glamorous, easy, or fun.
It’s cancelling plans you’d been looking forward to, and not wanting to explain because you don’t want pity or sympathy…
Or even worse…someone acting like they understand something that you have to live to grasp.
It is size 7 diapers at three and a half, and fearing having to put your squishy cheek little boy in adult diapers.
It’s baby gates, high chairs, and it’s closed top cups.
It is toys still in boxes because your son would rather spin the wheels on your luggage.
It’s watching him push chairs into pantries to retrieve top shelf apple sauce packets.
It’s fighting the urge to abandon self care.
It’s child safety door handles, long hours of strangers in your home for behavioral therapy, late nights of anxiety and wondering what his life will be like at 10..20..30.
It’s not comparing him to other kids his age.
It’s having to ask for kisses.
It’s always wondering what is going on in his mind.
It’s constantly being aware of the amount of stimulation in an environment to keep him from having a melt down.
It’s sometimes wanting to give up.
It’s haircuts where even mommy and daddy leave crying.
It’s treacherous teeth brushing and rearranging furniture, it’s children asking me why my son doesn’t want to play with them and having to leave the room so I don’t break down in tears.
It’s wondering if my sweet little Presley will ever have her love for her big brother returned.
But it’s also joy. So, so much joy.
It’s waking up at the crack of dawn to a smiling face and a huge bear hug.
It’s walking into a room and seeing the alphabet letters on the couch spelled out “BRAXTON” perfectly.
It’s passing milestones, it’s overcoming obstacles.
It’s eye contact and a smile after hours of being deadlocked in his own world.
It’s the moment someone he knows comes over and he sees them and intentionally approaches them.
It is saying a complicated word and hearing him parrot it back verbatim and almost passing out from shock. It’s laying down next to him at night while he plays with my hair and rubs my face.
It’s the moments he brings me into his world and even if just for a second I feel that he knows that I am his person, his mom.
It’s learning delayed gratification. Its receiving more love and appreciation than you can imagine, without a word.
Its high fives. It’s thriving on routine, and loving simply being at home with family.
It is defying the odds and statistics and watching your family unit become even stronger because of it.
It’s appreciating people who accommodate our lifestyle and put in the effort to know our son.
It’s changing the way you view life, permanently. It’s breaking the stigma.
It’s not giving up…Ever.
Autism isn’t glamorous, easy or fun…
But it is joy. So, so much joy.
Written by, Madison Jaques
Mother to a four month old baby girl and a three year old autistic son. Fierce advocate with a passion for words and a never ending goal to break stigmas surrounding children on the spectrum. You can follow Madison on Instagram.
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Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.
